I've often wondered what was the (dare we say "karmic"?) reason for me to spend 2 years as a Tech Director at a school. I think one of the significant things I gained was an interest in examining the learning process. One thing my time at the school taught me was the basic concepts of not only learning, but reflecting on your learning. How do you learn? What makes learning easier or harder? And what have you learned? What came easily, and what took work - and how do you feel about either?

As I recommit myself to being a learner of drumming, I now watch myself with a much more keen eye. It's actually incredibly helpful and liberating to be able to take a step back from being frustrated about learning something, and look at my own reaction as well as process. This tells me so much more about how I learn.

Fr example, I'm in an ensemble class with Robert Wallace. I'm easily one of the most advanced students. At first I wasn't sure if I should stay in the class, but I discovered something about my learning process that has made me realize the value of staying in the ensemble.

For a start, there's no doubt that I *am* learning new patterns. But goes like this: my ego mind will pick up the rhythm, and then within a few beats declare that I've learned it, OK time to move on. My body will take a bit longer - but the pattern will settle in within a few minutes (unless it is particularly complicated). But I've noticed that I will repeatedly drop the rhythm or "stumble" - even on what I consider simple patterns. This, I've discovered, has a lot do with my listening.

When I first started drumming, I barley listened. To others, I mean. This is typical - you listen to yourself play a pattern, and once that sound becomes familiar in your head, it actually helps you keep playing, and even come back in if you've dropped the rhythm. Then, as time goes on, you begin to listen to others. At first, this will screw you up and you have to come back to your own "recording" of your pattern in your head. At some stage, you break that barrier and are able to play your own pattern while listening - and eventually even talking / scratching your head / etc. For me nowadays, I rely on listening to give me a sense of place in the rhythm - it's how I know something is off, or conversely if everyone is locking in, etc.

Except, in a beginner's ensemble class, people are off a lot of the time - and because I'm so used to listening for the drum cues, it throws me off to. Sometimes I've had to return to just listening to myself in order to keep the rhythm. I know that this is just another level of expertise I need to build-up - experienced teachers like Robert who are used to beginners can play rock solid as everyone else is waivering, in order to provide that anchor.

Ultimately, what could have been a disheartening experience of feeling like I couldn't hold what my ego mind told me were simple rhythms has turned into a deeper understanding of how I learn, how I play, and what I need to get better at.